The test

Sunday morning I was exhausted, I woke up around 5:30 to feed Kyla and she didn't want to go back to sleep. So after numerous attempts to put her back to bed I decided to hold her and enjoy our special time together. Well 9:00 rolled around, I made the girls their breakfast, got Mike his pain med which was supposed to be a motrin, I decided to take one too because I had a horrible headache. (The headache was probably from lack of sleep, Mike got his surgery Thursday and so since Thursday I had been getting up at 3 to give him his meds and ice for his foot, then again at 5 to feed Kyla, then stay up after feeding Kyla because the girls were waking up shortly after I got Kyla back to bed.) So I went to church, which was a blur and come home to realize I had given us both Percocet, no wonder I was a zombie at church. I realize that I am totally at the end of my rope, I find a quiet place (my bathroom) and kneel down and just start crying to my Heavenly Father. I felt so much peace as I finished my prayer and I had an instant burst of energy to get through my day. After that Kyla was sleeping super good, Mike didn't need his meds anymore and life was slowly getting back to normal again. Normal for having a new baby normal. ;) Then what happens another thing to make me stretch and rely on the Lord some more. I couldn't have survived the last 2 days with out the love of my family and ward. I have had phone call after phone call asking how they can help me, I have had emails, facebook messages galore. Thank you all for your love and help. I haven't had to worry once about my girls being taken care of. Who would have thought that I could leave my 1 month old baby and just come home long enough to nurse her. Plus I have had the quiet moments to my self where I can pray and thank my Heavenly Father for sparing the life of my husband. The fear that comes to you when you hear about how I could lose him any time just tore me apart. I just kept thinking have I given to my husband all that I need to give, Have I loved him the way I need to love him. Why do I have to nit pick his every little behavior that drives me nuts. I have realized that all that matters is creating memories with our little girls. Enjoying the simple pleasures of life. Mike is good at that, me not so much unless the house is clean the laundry is done, dinner is made, etc. :) How thankful I am that he is recovering so fast and will be home with us shortly. Again thank you all for your prayers.

Mike Kennedy

I just have to make a quick entry, I haven't blogged for a long time, no Internet or camera, but now I have both, so I need to catch up on entries. I will do that another day.
I am one of the luckiest girls ever. I am married to the most amazing man. Those of you that know him know that what you see is what you get. He is very honest, and says just about anything that is on his mind. Some things you may not know about his is that he LOVES being a dad. He takes his girls on dates, takes them fishing, makes them necklaces, lets them do his hair, and even will play tea party or dress up with them. He LOVES the gospel. He spends hours every day studying, I shouldn't say this, but sometimes I get a little jealous of the time that he spends studying his scriptures. His knowledge of the gospel is amazing to me. I feel as if I am the one in our marriage who feels the spirit and is prompted to do things while he is the smart one. :) He LOVES me. He rubs my feet every single night that he is home. He makes a mean breakfast, and he feeds our girls every morning. He loves to read novels with me. He always lets me fall asleep on his chest and doesn't complain about the drool. He loves every living creature on this Earth. He would have a million pets if possible. He loves people, he can talk for hours and hours. He has a heart of gold. Do you know he brought home a guy he met at the temple and ended up talking his parents into giving him a home. He lives to fish, play any sport, and do just about anything active. As you can see I am one lucky girl to have married such an amazing man.
Last Thursday he had a bunion removed. We decided we had met our deductible this year so we might as well do any surgical procedures we need to this year. Sunday his calf started hurting, then Monday night his side of his chest, back etc were hurting and he couldn't breath. Well after a trip to the ER today, he is making the hospital his home for tonight. He has a pulmonary embolism or a blood clot in his lung. To see my husband in so much pain was just horrible for me. It took everything in me to be the strong support he needed through all the tests, etc. He can't breath very well, watching him is almost like watching a woman in labor. He is OK for a few minutes then he has to stand up and focus on his breathing. Anyway, this is not what we expected at all, he about died when they told him that he can't be active for a while. I think that was worse news to him than the fatal conversation. They had to talk to us about how this can be fatal, had to ask him if he wants to be revived,etc. and who will make his decisions for him if he can't speak for himself etc. Freaked me out. Anyways I had to come home, they wouldn't let Kyla spend the night there with me. I thought I would record my feelings. I love you Mike!!! Hope you get some rest tonight and are able to come home tomorrow!!! Your girls all love you.